Problems
by flying at tree level
Summary: After a tragedy in the Venturi family Casey sticks by Derek's side throughout a rocky relationship and his own downward spiral. Rated T for language and content.
1. Chapter 1

**Helloooo :) So this is the first part of the story. There will be three chapters and I've already got the second one written so it'll probably be posted tomorrow, but the third is a work in progress.**

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><p><em>Even angels have their wicked schemes<em>

_And you take that to new extremes_

_But you'll always be my hero_

_Even though you've lost your mind_

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**HOW IT STARTED**

Casey recalls falling in love with Derek soon after the event of his mom's death. Although there may be evidence to suggest she had fallen for him _way_ before then, this is the point which she actually chooses to acknowledge.

It was a car accident that did it. His mother was on leave from Spain, back home to London where she would be obtaining the rest of her degree, when some idiot who was tweaked out on meth was speeding _backwards_ on a highway, which caused a full on collision that lead to one of the nastiest pileups the area had seen in years. Miraculously eleven people survived the crash, escaping with major and minor injuries, but two people were killed including Abby, the Venturi kids' mother. Casey, who was around when George and Nora had first received the news, had found out before any of the other kids did. Upon hearing it she immediately felt overwhelmed with sympathy, not being able to bear to fathom the way Derek and Marti and Edwin would react when they found out, but also she felt a strong sense of worry over what would happen to the structure of the family that they had all worked so hard to build. She imagined in a worst case scenario, the house becoming divided and every bond that had formed between the Venturis and the McDonalds being broken as some would be grieving and some would not. Of course Casey didn't want that to happen and she would do everything in her power to hold things together, but then there was the part of her deep down inside that always told her to prepare for the worst.

The funeral service was held three days later at a chapel not too far from where Marti's elementary school was. The service was calm and filled with friends and Venturi relatives, whom Casey had never met before, offering their condolences and best wishes for their family. Afterwards they headed home, along with everyone else for the funeral reception. Upon arrival, Nora immediately headed into the kitchen and got to work warming up food, while George tended to the guests. Lizzie and Edwin took Marti and some of their younger cousins to the backyard to let them play on the plastic playset, but Marti who really didn't feel much like playing merely kicked off her shoes and swung by herself. Casey stuck around downstairs popping in and out of the living room and the kitchen to see if Nora and George needed any help accomodating the guests. Casey talked to a few of them, playing the nice hostess, but mostly they all just asked about Derek. Derek, who she had noticed disappeared into his room as soon as they had gotten into the house.

"Poor dear. They all must be taking it so hard," they would say.

George overheard one of the conversations and asked Casey if she would go check on him, just to see how he was doing. She didn't really think she was the best person to be assigned that task but of course she would do it and she found herself tentatively knocking at his door. When there was no response, she slowly opened it.

"Umm..your dad asked me to check on you," she said. Derek looked up at her and nodded but didn't say anything. He was sitting at his desk in front of his computer, but the monitor was turned off. Casey gave his room a onceover. Everything looked the same as it always did, with the posters and the clothes all over the floor and the messy unmade bed, but Derek himself looked completely different. He was wearing tan khaki pants and a black longsleeved button down shirt and his _hair_, well instead of the usual shaggy, unstyled bedhead he normally sported, his hair was combed neatly to the side and out of his face. He looked handsome, Casey thought to herself, well if he didn't look so moody and sad.

"Do you need anything? I mean are you hungry or something? There's food downstairs." she told him.

"Nope," he replied, fiddling around in his desk drawers for something. She noticed a carton of cigarettes sitting next to his computer. Immediately she was taken back to a story George had once told the family (against Derek's will) about how he and Derek's mom had found cigarettes in Derek's room when he was eleven. Apparently Abigail was the one who had found them first and before confronting him, she had printed out a huge list containing all the dangerous chemicals found in cigarettes and the side-effects of smoking. She had then taken away every electronic he owned and told him that if he wanted them back he would have to memorize the entire list and recite it for everyone every night after dinner, for a whole week. He had supposedly done well the first two nights but for some reason, maybe it was the shame he felt from disobeying his parents or the stress that came with being deprived of television and his Playstation for far too long, for some reason in the midst of reciting the list he had broken down and cried and apologized and begged his parents not to make him do it anymore. Everyone had gotten a good laugh out of the story, but Derek (even though Edwin, who was six at the time, has confirmed it) still denies that that ever happened.

"You don't have to stay here," he informed her as she stood in the middle of his room amidst all the chaos.

Casey, for some reason, started to babble. "Well are you sure you don't want anything? I know my mom's not the best cook in the world but other people brought stuff too, like your Aunt Raye I think? She brought a casserole which looked pretty good...actually I got to meet a lot of your relatives. They seemed really nice, but they were all asking about you... That's really why I came up here, we all noticed you were gone and your dad wanted me to make sure you were all right...but of course you're not all right. Maybe it would be good for you to go downstairs and talk to some people? It might make you feel better or at least let them know that you're okay. Or maybe...you probably just want to be left alone right?"

Derek didn't say anything, just looked at the floor. Casey played with her hands nervously.

"Of course you want to be left alone. Obviously I don't know how to take a hint." She took a deep breath, apologized and waved briefly before leaving, feeling like an idiot. He was probably irritated just by the sound of her voice, and she had this annoying tendency to go on and on and on...no wonder he disliked her so much. She turned to leave and get as far away from him as possible, because that was what she had figured that he wanted, but her trek into the hallway was interrupted.

"Wait," Derek said, prompting her to pause and turn around.

"That annoying, fast-talky thing you do-it's kind of amusing," he admitted. And Casey closed his door behind her and decided to stay with him. She realized that what he wanted was a distraction, and she supposed she could be that or whatever else he needed because that was what family did for each other. That was why Casey found herself still in his room later that night, still in her black funeral dress sitting on top of his bed, with bare legs and bare feet tucked underneath her, flipping through his old sports magazines and asking him random questions about players and teams and stats that he realized, but pretty much already knew she had no clue about. (He regarded her as hopeless on more than one occasion but became determined to teach her). At some point he felt the need for a cigarette and popped one into his mouth, reaching for a lighter.

Casey thought back to elementary school and all those JUST SAY NO lectures she'd seen. She began to recite: "Ammonia, which is used in household cleaners, cyanide and carbon monoxide which are both poisonous, methoprene, formalydehyde..."

"What?"

"DDT, arsenic, nicotine..." she continued.

Derek leaned back in his chair and groaned, "God, please shut up."

She laughed lightly, and swears the corner of his lips curved up slightly into a smile.

That night she fell asleep, by accident on the bed next to Derek. It had gotten to the point where it was so late that she could barely keep her eyes open and she was just comfortable enough to forget where she was. In the morning she woke up before he did and quietly slipped out. The first thing she did was change out of her dress and have a nice, hot shower. When she got out she decided to make breakfast, letting the smell of her homemade buttermilk pancakes wake everyone up. The parents emerged first and were very grateful, greeting her with hugs and sad smiles. Then came Lizzie, Edwin and Marti. They ate breakfast together quietly that morning and Casey made sure to set aside a plate for Derek, who had yet to come downstairs. In private, Casey gave George a status update on Derek that didn't surprise him. They were all grieving, George just knew Derek would be handling his in a different way than the others.

As Casey had predicted, over the course of the next few days, a division in the family had occured. But fortunately, it wasn't the division that she had feared it would be. Instead of a division by last names, it was more of a division by age group which actually ended up bringing their family closer. As fate should have it, Edwin, who was a lot stronger than he usually let on, along with Lizzie took on the task of looking after Marti. George, who really did have trouble getting over the death of his first wife and mother of his three children, had Nora to help him through it. And who did that leave? Derek and Casey.

Casey ended up spending way more time with Derek than she thought that either of them would be able to stand. After his mom's death Derek decided he would take some time off school, it seeming even less important to him then than it had before. Nobody seemed to object to this except for maybe the girls at Thompson, who Casey had to admit had gotten to be a bit ridiculous. It seemed every cheerleader or female with a pulse wanted Derek to know just how sorry they were for his loss and that if there was _anything_ he needed, all he had to do was ask. They had also taken to sending her home with various baked goods, like brownies, lemon squares and at one time an entire red velvet cake (which Casey had to carry all the way to her car).

"Here ya go," she'd said, setting the large container, along with others down on his desk. "That is from Thalia."

"Who?"

"Tan skin, brown eyes...I believe you guys went on a date last year."

"Oh yeah," he said, sort of remembering. Casey rolled her eyes at him "What? You know I'm no good with names."

After school Casey always brought Derek his assignments and let him borrow her notes to try to do them. They would share whatever desserts Casey had brought home, courtesy of the female population at school, and Casey would try to explain the notes and go over everything he had missed in the classes that they normally shared together. Though Derek didn't seem to care enough to put forth an actual effort towards understanding his schoolwork (Casey soon felt the frustration she imagined most of his teachers felt) she did manage to keep him from failing.

As said before, they ended up spending _a lot_ of time together. Derek did seem to be finding a way to deal with losing his mom but, as everyone did, he had his good days and his bad days, and the only person who was allowed to see him on his bad days was Casey. She could always tell the days where he was really depressed and had spent the entire day in his room, thinking about his mom because those were the days where he was especially quiet, she'd notice, letting her talk his ear off, and those were the nights where he would flat out ask her if she'd stay with him without making up some excuse. And whenever he asked her, Casey always said that she would and she always did. Sometimes at night she'd let him kiss her and Derek would fall asleep holding her hand or with his arm around her like he was afraid of losing her, like at any moment she could leave him, drift away without any warning and he wouldn't be able to stop it. But she always stayed with him until the morning and before she left she made sure to wake him up to let him know so there wouldn't be any surprises. She'd kiss him goodbye and quietly exit to go get ready for school. If anyone noticed that there was something going on between them, they didn't let on. Or maybe they didn't really care.

After a month had passed, Derek's grace period had ended. A letter was sent home from the school notifying their parents that he had almost reached the maximum number of absences allowed and that if he didn't return he really _would_ fail the year. Derek took the news with a grain of salt but made it clear that the only reason he was going back was because he had to. By that time he and Casey's relationship had grown and been established (at least by the two of them) as doing the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing, which Casey didn't mind one bit. Things were good between them. They had fallen into a routine that seemed to work for both of them, where they were just _always_ together. It eventually got to the point where George and Nora couldn't ignore it anymore. One day Casey overheard their parents talking about them.

"We should say something George," her mother said. It was after dinner and she and George were in the kitchen, having just cleared the table and now working on the dishes. Casey stood outside the doorway that led from the dining room to the kitchen, listening.

"I don't know Nora, maybe it really isn't that big a deal," George said. "I mean they're just kids."

"That's exactly my point. Casey hasn't slept in her own room in-I don't know, how long do you think this has been going on? That's an awfully serious relationship for two teenagers, don't you agree?"

Outside Casey bit her lip, a blush creeping up her neck.

George responded, "Yes, I see your point, and I can see why you'd be worried. But, I don't know, they're both good kids right? I mean we know Casey is, and she and Derek have always kind of balanced each other out. I think Casey might be good for him, ya know? She always has been."

Casey felt something inside her chest warm up. It was a moment before Nora responded. Casey peeked into the kitchen and saw her mother give George a soft smile and touch his shoulder.

"I know he's had a rough couple of weeks Georgie. And Casey has been really good with him."

"I'm just saying, we can't exactly keep them apart can we? History shows what good that does for parents."

"I agree with you. But what kind of parents would we be if we allowed them to share a _bed_. There are definitely consequences to that kind of behavior."

He sighed. "That's true. So do you think we should give them..'the talk'?"

"That would give me a bit of piece of mind..."

Casey groaned.

'The Talk' came soon thereafter and it was inevitably uncomfortable, probably for both parties. But afterwards, after Nora explained to Casey all the dangers of moving too fast in relationships, Nora did something that surprised her. She hugged Casey and told her how proud she was of her.

Casey was a little confused. "For what?"

Her mother suddenly got very emotional. "For growing up to be so responsible. You're the one we never have to worry about because we know you'll always make the right choices."

Casey smiled and took her mother's compliment and later realized that she and Derek had been given their parents' blessings to begin dating or be together, whatever they wanted to call it. And their younger siblings seemed to approve as well. When they told Edwin, at first his eyes went wide in disbelief. Then his face settled into a lazy grin, as he declared that he totally saw this coming and that it was about time it happened. This type of (not so shocking) shock seemed to be just what their family needed to pull them out of their funk, and it made Casey feel good.

"Just try not to move too fast okay Casey? If you've never been in love before, well the first time can be a bit overwhelming," Nora had told her daughter after they had finished their talk. But Casey was too happy to see any real meaning in her words. She understood what she meant about it being _overwhelming_ though, because she felt it, absolutely in every inch of her body whenever she was with him. Maybe it was that nurturing instinct that supposedly every girl possessed, but with Derek and after everything he'd been through, she found herself wanting to look after him, to protect him from anything that could ever hurt him. She'd fallen for him..._hard._

(And Derek loved her too, she knew for a fact because one night, before they'd fallen asleep he'd accidentally let it slip).

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: The italicized words in the beginning aren't mine. They belong to Rihanna. Also the characters in this story aren't mine either.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, for some reason I felt inclined to write an author's note but I don't really know what to say soooo, uhhhh...well here's chapter two. **

**Warning: It sort of deals with a sensitive topic so take note of the rating. It's rated T for a reason.**

**ENJOY :)**

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><p><strong>HOW IT GOES<strong>

They were sitting on the couch in the living room, watching sitcom reruns when Casey asked him, "Derek why do you smoke?"

"Why do you ask so many questions?" was his reply.

Being Derek's girlfriend taught Casey a lot of things about him. There were a lot of things she already knew, like how his favorite food was pretty much _every_ food and given the right setting he could shamelessy scarf down an entire plate in a matter of seconds. And how he could lie and get away with it better than anyone she knew. And how he didn't like girls who cried too much (Casey being the exception). And he never publicly showed any emotions that went deeper than happy, bored or annoyed. And that he loved sarcasm and pushing people's buttons and had a tendency to do whatever _he _wanted to do without considering consequences. And she knew he had an affinity towards reckless and sometimes _dangerous_ behavior and that if he had his mind set on doing something, there was usually no talking him out of it.

"Is it your whole anti-authority complex?" she mused, "Like the commercials and the magazine ads tell you not to do it so you have to do the opposite because 'nobody tells Derek what to do'."

"Yup, you got it." he responded, while flipping through channels on the tv set, prompting Casey to shake her head. She told him she could understand doing it because you were addicted to it but she couldn't fathom what would make somebody want to start in the first place.

So he explained to her that it was just something he did to distract himself. A nervous habit, he admitted. She still didn't get it though.

"Haven't you ever heard of the phrase 'idle hands are the devil's playthings'?" he asked her.

Casey nodded slowly but they just decided to leave it at that. She grabbed some popcorn from the bowl in front of them and settled back, letting him put his arm around her.

All the things Casey knew about him beforehand were things that she could handle. A couple years of being his stepsister had taught her that. But it was the things that she didn't know, that she was just recently finding out, those were the ones that worried her sometimes. Like his jealousy, for example.

When Derek and Casey became official, their relationship went into complete overdrive and everything that happened between them just happened so fast. Sex. Love. Committment. Even though they weren't supposed to, most nights they still slept together, his arms around her and themselves so close that it felt like there was nobody else in the world. Casey had already given herself to him in more ways than she could imagine, so she couldn't for the life of her comprehend why he would get so jealous all of the time.

There was this guy, Chris Platte who sat behind her in chemistry and since the year had started, he'd taken to hitting on her every class, trying to get her to go out with him. In her eyes it wasn't that big a deal, just harmless flirting. Of course she had no interest in him, after all he was a well known skirt chaser and womanizer. But it had just gotten to be sort of a game with them and whoever was sitting in close proximity, where he would disrupt the class and throw some cheesy pick up line at her, and she'd laugh it off and shoot him down. But somehow Derek had caught wind of the situation and to him it didn't seem so innocent.

"I can't just not talk to him ever again, he's my _lab partner_," she tried to explain.

Derek just rolled his eyes. "How convienent."

"Do you honestly think I would cheat on you?"

He had to think about it. "No. But there's a certain level of disrespect that comes with hearing your girlfriend's name tossed around during 'locker-room talk'."

Casey cringed. She hadn't been expecting that one. What was that jerk saying about her?

"Well that's not my fault, I can't control what he says..."

Derek didn't respond.

"I'll say something to him tomorrow..."

He blinked.

"I can handle it.." she tried again.

Then he looked her in the eyes. "You handle it, or I will."

Casey didn't know what Derek's idea of handling it was, but she knew that he couldn't really afford to get in any trouble.

"What do you want me to do? It's not like I can just _tell _him your my boyfriend..."

After that it became a well known fact at Thompson that Casey and Derek were a couple. They started walking down the halls together, holding hands despite the second glances they got when they passed people. Sometimes Casey wore Derek's jacket and she started sitting at his lunch table with him and his friends. Casey thought people stared at her because they thought she was a freak or something, but then her best friend Emily kindly informed her that, "They're not staring because they're confused, honey. They're staring because they're jealous."

Oddly enough, being Derek Venturi's girlfriend made her popular, and it was totally bizarre for her because all of a sudden, girls who had never even spoken to her before wanted to be her friend, and guys who used to be oh-so-friendly didn't really give her the time of day anymore. Needless to say, Chris Platte didn't bother her in chem class anymore.

There were perks to being his girlfriend. Like with the popularity for instance, Casey finally felt accepted in her school and she knew where she belonged (with him). But their relationship was far from perfect. Casey loved Derek and she loved being with him but she could not get over his possessive mentality towards her. She didn't like how picky he was about being kept waiting, and being expected to follow him wherever he went, getting her wrist pulled whenever he was ready to leave somewhere, and she hated it whenever he got jealous. She saw all of these things as symbols of ownership and she simply couldn't stand it. So there were fights. The smooth portion of their relationship had ended and they started fighting, sometimes in front of other people. Their family, friends and people who knew them had all expected them to fight, after all it was still Derek and Casey, no matter how in love they were. But these fights were different, in that they seemed to stem from a deeper place and involve real emotions. Derek's anger always seemed to come from a darker place than Casey's, but before things could go too far they always stopped, either at their parents' request or at their own doing. They stopped momentarily, but whenever they were alone they finished it. And it was always ten times worse if Derek was drunk. Derek started partying more than usual and the parties always involved him consuming heavy amounts of alcohol. Everybody else saw it as him just having a good time, but Casey knew he was just drowning out the dark feelings he didn't want to feel anymore, that it was just a coping mechanism. He had this miraculous ability to fool everyone, even their parents. He could come home drunk with a completely straight face, mutter a few words to their parents and disappear into his room with no questions asked. Casey realized that was mostly due to the fact that she was always trailing right behind him and if _she_ was with him then of course they couldn't have been up to no good. There was no question about that.

Derek wasn't a happy drunk, she learned. He got mean and easily irritated, well at least by her. If they were fighting, everything Casey said or did was wrong, but it was impossible for either of them to win because she was always just as stubborn. She never backed down, just kept going at him, 'poking the bear' over and over. He'd ignore her but she _hated_ that. When he turned his back to her it just bothered her, like he always got the last word and whatever he says goes. She didn't know he was ignoring her because he was trying to control himself. That it was possible for him to just snap, so quickly she wouldn't see it coming. The first time he hit her it was an accident. She was behind him and he swung his hand out, trying to push her away to get her to back off, but his hand accidentally collided with her face, and he was wearing a ring so he accidentally busted her lip. And when it happened Casey immediately crumbled, dropping down to her knees. She touched her lip and saw the blood and she began to cry, tears spilling uncontrollably. Derek didn't know what to say or do, he seemed so shocked at what happened. He started stuttering but before he could spill out an apology she ran from him, out of the room and locked herself in the bathroom.

She yanked a ton of tissue from the roll and held it to her face but she couldn't stop crying. All she could taste was salty tears and the metallic taste of blood from when he had hit her. She couldn't believe it, he _hit _her. She never thought Derek could be capable of something like that, even if he didn't mean to do it. The whole thought of it happening just scared her. She made herself breathe slowly, in and out until she caught her breath and controlled herself. The bathroom suddenly felt stuffy and too confined. She needed air.

When she opened the door and looked into the hallway Derek was standing across the hall in the doorway of his bedroom. They both flinched when they saw each other, like they had both just worked up the courage to leave their space. Something in Casey's heart broke when she looked at him because she hadn't seen him that miserable since the day of his mother's funeral. His skin was pale as winter and his eyes were wide and tired. He looked desperate. _Sorry _even.

"Case-" he whispered.

She looked at the floor. Both of them stayed on their respective sides of the hallway, neither of them brave enough to approach the other.

He started again: "I don't even know how that happened Casey, I-I didn't mean to I swear. I didn't mean to hit you like that."

Her throat was too thick for any words to come out so she just stared.

"Please, say something." _Nothing._ "Hit me back then."

She stood there frozen for a number of seconds before she stomped forward and collided with his chest. She pushed him and punched him weakly with the bottom of her fists before falling, collapsing into tears. Derek caught her before she hit the ground and held onto her tightly, falling to the floor with her. He held her head against his chest, resting his head ontop of hers, letting her cry softly against him.

"I'm sorry okay? I'm really sorry.." he said.

Casey let him comfort her because, as messed up as it was even though he had been the one to hurt her, she knew he was the only one who could. She let him fix it because there was no other way for it to be. They couldn't just end things. They needed each other.

After that they let themselves fall back into the easy, blissful stage of their relationship, kissing and being alone together whenever possible, hiding out from the rest of the world, doing whatever they could to make the other person happy. But it got to the point where they were just walking on eggshells around each other and it just wasn't comfortable anymore. They both had personalities where if they had an opinion about something, they wouldn't be satisfied until it was said and there was _always_ something to be said with those two. So their honeymooning didn't last long. Derek had calmed down his drinking, or he'd stopped getting completely drunk at least, but that couldn't have lasted either.

Sam had known Derek since grade school so he could tell that something wasn't right with him.

"Derek's been hitting it a bit hard lately, don't ya think?" he pointed out to Casey one night. They were in the kitchen at some cheerleader's party. Casey was sitting at the island, nursing a lemonade when he approached her.

She just shrugged.

"What, you don't think we should be worried?" he asked her.

"I think that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Derek Venturi is gonna do what Derek Venturi wants."

He nodded. "I see your point..."

"But I get what you're saying. He hasn't really been the same since...you know."

"Yeah I know it must be hard, for both of you." He paused. "How umm, how are you doing with all of this?"

Casey didn't respond at first, she was too nervous about lying to him. Sam had always been so kind to her, so easy to talk to she always felt like she could tell him anything. She was afraid something might slip.

"I'm okay," she said in practically a whisper, not daring to say anything else. He nodded, looking at her with concern written all over his face, but then he relaxed, lightening the mood.

He put his arm around her casually in a friendly gesture and rubbed her shoulder.

"If you ever need anything you can talk to me. I mean, we're still friends right?"

She nodded, "Yeah, of course. Thanks Sam." Maybe Sam's arm lingered too long, but then Derek walked into the room and things got really tense.

"Sorry to interrupt." he muttered.

Casey moved away from Sam. "You're not interrupting anything."

Sam just patted his friend's shoulder, nonchalantly, "Relax dude," and walked out of the kitchen.

"Don't get all paranoid Derek, we were just talking," she told him. But Derek just ignored her and got another beer. She frowned because she knew it was gonna be a long night.

At some point that night, Casey noticed Sam and Derek talking about something, and it did not look like a friendly conversation. Sam must have said something that really pissed him off because afterwards, Derek cursed at him and walked off and let Casey know that it was time to leave.

She followed him out to the car and he got into the driver's seat. She hesitated. "Are you sure you're okay to drive?"

But Derek didn't have any patience for this. "Casey, either you get in the car or you can walk home."

She got in but made a point of slamming the door. "Fine, you don't have to be such a prick."

Casey didn't see how he could even drive but somehow he managed it. He went faster than usual though, and he swerved, cutting past cars in front of him and speeding through stop signs. Casey didn't appreciate his reckless driving, and she complained the whole time but he just ignored her. She was just scared though. Every time he sped up or jerked the car to a stop at a red light her heart went racing. She didn't like that he acted like it was no big deal, like he was invincible or something. Like nothing could touch him. It made her nervous, uncomfortable.

"Are you out of your _mind _Derek?" she spat, incredulous.

They were parked in the garage now. Derek didn't say anything, just reached into his glove compartment for a carton of cigarettes.

"That was really stupid. You're lucky you didn't get us pulled over," she said.

And there was a warning: "Casey, I'm not in the mood to be lectured okay? Especially by you."

"Me? What have I done that was so wrong?"

"Nothing, you did nothing at all. Now go run along inside-better yet, why don't you go run and tattle on me to Sam?"

And she should've seen that one coming. "You can't get mad at me for that. I didn't tell Sam anything that he didn't already know."

Another warning: "Whatever Casey. I mean it, just go inside and please don't wait up."

She scoffed and opened her car door, but didn't get out yet. "Fine, I was just worried about you is all. And you know you could've gotten us killed tonight. I don't see how you could even drive like that, especially after what happened to your-"

Casey was cut off by Derek's hand flying towards her face because she'd gone too far bringing that up, she'd crossed the line. Derek: 2, Casey: 0. Casey'd seen a flash of anger in his face before it happened and then he'd hit her, hard. But for some reason, this time she didn't cry.

And the next morning when Casey got up and went into the bathroom and saw herself in the mirror, there was a large purple bruise on the outside of her left eye. When she touched it she winced. It was too sore to try to cover up with makeup. But she had school that day so before she left, she grabbed a pair of huge sunglasses and put them on, making sure to leave early before anyone in the house saw her. Derek didn't go to school that day though, probably too hungover to even get out of bed, she figured.

Nobody at school really questioned her about it, she just stuck to the story that she had been drinking last night too and that she had a bit of a hangover, but was too much of a 'keener' to miss school over it. It all seemed like a plausible story. And her first two period classes were with teachers that liked her, so they just gave her the benefit of the doubt and didn't say anything about it except for the obligatory "Are you alright Casey?". But her third block teacher Mr. Howell, who didn't really like anyone, called her out on it.

"Should I dim the lights for you Miss McDonald? Or is this just a clever ruse for you to try and sleep in my class?" He bellowed in his deep voice.

Casey'd had her head rested on her arms folded on the desk, but she hadn't been sleeping. She was paying attention...sort of.

"Sorry...they're for medicinal purposes," she lied. "Prescribed by my doctor." Some kids in the class snickered.

"Well unless you have a doctor's note, you'll have to take them off," he told her.

Casey froze, she didn't know what to do. She knew there were people there who'd been at the party last night and had probably seen her arguing with Derek, and there would be a lot of questions, whispers and talking behind her back. She didn't want to deal with it, she just didn't have the energy to lie to _everyone_.

"Well?" Mr. Howell asked, waiting. All eyes were on Casey now. She didn't think twice, just stood up and walked out of the class room. She knew which wing of the school to walk out of where there'd be nobody to catch her. It was where all the stoners ditched class. She took a deep breath and pushed through the doors, knowing she was gonna go home, where Derek would be.

It wasn't that long of a walk, from the high school back home; it took her maybe fifteen minutes to get there. She walked slowly though, with her head down, and when she got to her house she was just grateful not to have been busted for truancy.

Derek was sitting on the porch in a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, barefoot with a lit cigarette in his hand. He lit up surprised when he saw her approaching. Casey stood in front of him, pulled her bag up higher on her shoulder and crossed her arms.

"Is anyone home?" she asked him.

"No," he said. And she nodded and took off her sunglasses, revealing her black eye. His eyes went wide. "Jesus."

"Don't..okay?" she said. She stepped past him to go inside the house but he followed her.

"Wait a sec.." he said. Casey dropped her bag on the floor and took off her jacket, ignoring him. "Casey? Casey did we fight last night?" he asked.

And she couldn't believe it. _Did we fight last night?_ He'd hit her so hard he'd bruised her eye and now he was asking her if they fought? Casey almost considered lying to him, saying 'No, Derek we didn't fight. I walked into a door.' Maybe he'd believe it and they could just put this all behind them. They could pretend like nothing happened.

"I can barely remember anything...what happened?" he asked her.

It didn't surprise her that he couldn't remember because his drinking normally lead to blackouts. But Casey didn't have the luxury of forgetting the bad things that happened the night before. She had a reminder staring her in the face every time she looked in the mirror.

She took a deep breath. "We were in the garage, sitting in the car and you got mad. And you hit me..on purpose this time."

He stepped forward tentatively. "I did?" he asked in a low voice. He reached his hand up slowly to touch the purplish swollen part on her face. He trailed his finger along it so lightly she could barely even feel it, but for some reason it hurt more than anything. He looked her in the eyes and told her he was sorry. Casey closed her eyes and felt tears forming, but Derek wiped them away, ever so gently.

"I said something that upset you," she said softly, "I-I should have just listened to you and walked away like you said but," she sniffled, "sometimes I just don't know when to shut up and-"

"That's true," he said, "but this isn't your fault. I shouldn't have done that okay? I messed up, this isn't your fault."

"But if you knew what I said, you'd probably be mad at me too. It was so wrong, I shouldn't have even brought it up."

"Stop," he told her. "It doesn't matter."

He kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes, letting him envelope her in his arms. The sound of the clock went off letting them know that it was noon, at least two hours before anyone would be home. Derek held the side of Casey's face, letting thick pieces of her hair get caught between his fingers, and he kissed her. He kissed her temple first and then moved his mouth down onto hers, and he slid his hand down the length of her body, resting it at her hip. Casey wrapped her arms around his neck and she let him lift her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. She let him kiss her neck and breathe hasty apologies into her skin and at that moment, every fiber inside her body told her that she forgave him. And when he carried her into his bedroom and made love to her, she could not believe that this was the same person who had been so cold to her the night before. Being in his arms back in the safe zone made it so easy for her to forget that last night had even happened.

After they slept together she had fallen into a deep sleep, for who knows how long. "Casey," he said softly shaking her awake.

"Hmmm?" she murmured.

"I know umm," he cleared his throat, "I know I have problems that I need to sort through or whatever, but if it's too much for you to stick with me through all this, it's okay. I'll understand."

Casey pulled herself out of his grasp and turned around to face him, suddenly wide awake. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

"You don't _have_ to stay with me," he told her.

Casey looked in his eyes and she saw the pain written there, like he was afraid of the words he was saying. Afraid of what she would say back.

She moved closer to him and snuggled up to his chest. "But I _want_ to. I want to stay with you okay?"

He ran his fingers through her hair, tracing her scalp gently. "I don't deserve you Casey."

"I know you don't," she said. "But I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Derek."

"I love you too."

"Then you should tell me more often, or at least try to act like it."

"I'll put that on my list of things to work on."

Then their love spell was broken by the sound of the front door opening downstairs.

"Is it 3 o'clock already?" Derek asked as they both rolled out of bed, groggily.

Casey heard her mother's voice. "Casey Elizabeth, if you're home I suggest you come downstairs right now." Casey sighed because she'd completely forgotten about cutting school today. She scanned the floor for her clothes and Derek tossed his t-shirt to her but she tossed it back because that would have been _way_ too obvious. She spotted her tank top lying on the floor and she grabbed it and the rest of her clothes and quickly got dressed. Downstairs they could hear a shuffling of feet and voices they knew belonged to Lizzie, Edwin and Marti, but more importantly they could hear their parents' impatient tones.

Casey'd came down first, before Derek could stop her. "Wait-" he called, because she'd forgotten something pretty important.

Casey faced her mother, ready to get yelled at but she saw her mom's eyes go wide.

"Oh my god," her mother said when she saw her daughter's face. George sat up in his chair.

"Oh," Casey touched her eye, she'd forgotten it was even there. Her mother's demeanor changed from angry to concerned in a milisecond.

"Casey, what on earth happened to your eye?" she asked, reaching out to touch her. Casey backed away.

There was a brief awkward pause before a voice sounded in the background behind Casey. "I did it," Derek said and Casey turned around and looked at him, mortified. She didn't even hear him come downstairs. Everything got deadly quiet, as George and Nora stared at Derek, confused.

"I beg your pardon?" Nora said.

But Casey intervened before he could say anything else. "It was an accident, he means. When we woke up this morning, we were both so out of it and Derek _accidentally_ caught my eye with his elbow." Casey realized that admitting that she had slept in his room last night was probably gonna get them both in trouble(their parents had to be extra strict about that), but she also saw it as a distraction. Maybe they would be too busy punishing them to ask anymore questions.

"Oh, well goodness Casey, why didn't you say anything?" her mother asked.

"I didn't want to freak you out," she told her mom. "It looks a lot worse than it really is."

"I'm not sure about that. George can you get me an ice pack please?"

Casey sighed in relief because their parents believed her. Of course they believed her, there wasn't really anything else for them to believe. In their eyes Derek couldn't have done it on purpose. (Still, although Casey never asked him, she had to wonder what made him come downstairs and almost confess in the first place). Casey apologized to her mom for cutting school and told her that she thought that Mr. Howell was just trying to embarass her and she was just trying to stand up for what she believed in by walking out, and it was a good lie but she and Derek still got grounded for breaking the rules.

After that Casey tried to do everything in her power to keep things neutral between her and Derek. She tried her best to hold her tongue, keep her comments to herself and just keep things from escalating to that point of no return. She did everything she could but it was like if she took five steps forward Derek was always taking ten steps back. He went three days after that, _three days _without drinking before he gave up. They were hanging out in the garage when he casually walked over to his father's mini fridge and stole a beer. She just stared at him and he looked at her like _'What?' _as if it were no big deal. She told him he was unbelievable and he told her she was being dramatic.

"If you're worried about me getting caught you can relax. My dad never notices," he said.

But Casey didn't care about that-she knew Derek wouldn't get caught. He never got caught for anything he did. Casey was more concerned with the fact that he couldn't stop drinking even if he wanted to, and that he didn't seem to realize there was a correlation between his drinking and his abusive behavior. After he blacked her eye he promised he'd never hit her in the face like that again, but that promise couldn't save her from getting shoved or pushed around, getting pulled so that every now and then there were new bruises and marks on her arms and on her back. These bruises were easier for her to hide though and it got to be easier for her to pretend it didn't happen. Casey could hide her bruises and pretend as much as she wanted but she couldn't hide it from everyone.

Of all the people they'd told about their relationship, the one who had been the most...intrigued, was Emily. At first she had just stared at her best friend slackjawed, before sounding off with a million questions a minute about how this had even happened. Who had kissed who first? Weren't they worried about what their parents would think? Had this whole thing been brewing right under her nose this whole time without her knowing? How did they manage to stop fighting long enough to even start a relationship? She was always asking questions and wondering about the current status of their relationship, like what kinds of things they did together, what did they talk about? The whole concept of a real life "grown-up" relationship in high school seemed fascinating to her.

"So you guys are in like, legit love then?" she had asked her, as if she had never seen 'real love' before. Maybe what you see in movies or what you see your parents do doesn't really count.

Back then Casey had answered her question easily, with only the slightest hint of a blush she told her that truthfully she was still foggy on the whole love thing, but that whenever she was alone with Derek she thought that she could really feel it. She said that it felt good, but almost scary knowing that you cared that much about another person.

But now, it was months later and Casey had grown wary of her situation. She was just tired and upset _all the time_, worrying about him, about herself, about her family finding out that their relationship wasn't quite as perfect as it seemed. She grew tired of love.

"Well, I like the way he looks at me sometimes, and the way he holds me," Casey told her best friend.

Emily smiled and reached for a handful of trail mix. "I'm jealous," she responded.

They were sitting in Emily's room on the floor, watching television. Casey sat with her knees hugged up to her chest, her sleeves tugged down past her wrists. "Don't be, it's not all it's cracked up to be," she told her. "He makes me crazy sometimes."

Emily nodded. "I can see that happening. You guys are so different, you're like polar opposites...and yet in a lot of ways you're like exactly the same."

Casey tugged her sleeves down some more. She was always doing that, subconsciously now. "How so?" she asked, but she knew what her friend was gonna say.

"Well, you're both extremely stubborn. And kind of childish sometimes, no offense, but like with you and him always trying to one-up each other all the time. And you both always gotta have your way with each other, like it's never 'oh i'm sorry, you're right'. It's always 'I'm right, no _I'm_ right-'"

"Okay Emily, jeeze. Why don't you tell me how you really feel?" Casey said, sarcastically.

"You asked, dear. I swear I could write a book about you two."

Casey was quiet for a minute, letting the sounds of the tv fill the room. Then she asked, "Do you think that's a bad combination though? Like with me and him being so hot-headed all the time?"

Emily shrugged. "Not if you know how to handle it maturely."

And that Casey got to thinking, maybe their problem was that they were too immature to handle a relationship. Two kids moving too fast in the wrong direction too soon.

"But there are other factors that can ruin a relationship too right? Like if one of the persons happens to have a really bad problem.." Casey trailed off.

"Are you trying to tell me something Case?" she asked.

Casey shook her head. At that moment she really did want to tell her but she just couldn't. She didn't know _how _to tell her, so she just stared at her fingernails, distracting her self.

Emily said in a slightly lower voice, "Casey I know Derek drinks a lot now. I've known him since we were little and he's been acting...a lot different."

Emily was too observant for her own good, Casey decided. She tried to keep her face relaxed and neutral so that she could brush it off like she usually did, but she could tell by the way her friend was looking at her that she was failing, miserably.

She didn't know what to say, but eventually she decided on: "It sucks."

Emily nodded.

"I don't really want to talk about it though. Can't we just find a movie to watch or something?"

"Sure."

Although she knew she was in grave danger of accidentally spilling her secrets, Casey was glad Emily had invited her over for this sleepover. She needed a night away, to take a break from her life.

"Casey what happened to your arm?"

Casey had reached over her friend to get the remote and her sleeve accidentally slipped.

"What?"

"You're bruised."

Casey shrugged and immediately tugged her sleeves, instinctively. "Oh that? It's nothing. It was just a stupid fight," she said. Stupidly.

"_You _were in a fight Casey?" Emily snorted.

"Yeah," she replied. "Derek and I had a fight." She heard the words coming out of her mouth, but she couldn't believe she was saying them. _Stupid, stupid, stupid..._

Emily stared at her quietly in disbelief after she processed what she had just said.

"Wait a minute...your joking right? _Right?_"

-Pause-

"Derek did that to you?"

And Casey watched as everything started to click in Emily's brain. She watched her cognitively link this newfound information to all of the signs she had probably seen in the past.

"I'm fine Em, don't overreact."

"What did he do to you?"

"He pushed me into a dresser."

Emily was incredulous. "Are you insane! Casey, he does not get to do this to you...like, ever. This is not okay."

"Everybody knows we fight alot. This isn't some big secret."

"When your eye was all messed up and you said it was an accident, was it really him? Did he hit you?"

Emily was one of the few people who had seen her eye then, because she had come over the next morning after the day she cut class to help her cover it up with makeup.

"Never mind, you don't even have to say it. I know it was." Emily sat back and looked away from her, choosing to stare at the wall instead.

Casey started to feel bad, guilty for upsetting her.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked.

Emily scoffed. "I don't know...I'm just shocked. How could you not tell me this was happening?"

"I just knew how you would react. Now you're gonna tell me I should break up with him and-"

"Well you're right about that. You _are _breaking up with him," she informed her.

Casey shook her head. "It's not that simple."

And it wasn't simple at all. In Emily's eyes everything was just black and white: he puts his hands on you, then you have to break up with him. But it was easy for her to judge so quickly when she wasn't the one in the situation. Casey couldn't just end things with Derek because there were too many things to take into consideration, too many reasons not to, the main one being that she loved him uncontrollably, point blank period. And then there was her family, whom she would never tell her secret to no matter what Derek did. She knew that telling would tear her family apart, that it would pit Nora against George and break their younger siblings' hearts. Her mom and her sister would never be able to forgive Derek for what he did to her. And even if she did want to break up with him, she knew that she'd never really be able to because thanks to their parents they would be forever linked family by marriage. No matter what they'd always be together.

Casey tried to explain all of this to Emily, but Emily refused to see things from her perspective.

"Forget it Emily. You'll never understand what I'm going through."

After their conversation, they didn't really do or say anything else about it because Casey refused to talk about the subject anymore. The rest of their sleepover was uneventful though, as both girls decided to go to bed early.

Emily promised Casey she wouldn't say anything to Derek about it, but at school whenever she saw him she always glared, shot him daggars from across the room. Derek didn't seem to notice though, for which Casey was grateful.

Emily was convinced that there had to be some way for her to get out of the relationship without doing any damage. She didn't have to tell her parents what was going on but she needed a way to break away from Derek before things between them got any worse.

"What kind of friend would I be if I just sat there and let this happen?" she said.

"It's not your problem, it's mine." Casey responded.

The school year was almost over and Emily saw that as an escape route for her friend. She told her that maybe a vacation would be good for her. Casey saw right through that plan though.

"When's the last time you visited your dad in New York?"

"I know what your trying to do Emily, and it's not going to work. You can't just ship me off somewhere."

"But there's gotta be something about New York that appeals to you? Isn't there like a killer performing arts school right up the street from where your dad lives?"

Casey remembered telling Emily about that school, LaGuardia Arts High School. When she was younger, after her parents got divorced and her dad moved to New York, Casey had always imagined herself leaving her private school and moving away to live with her dad so that she could go to that school for the duration of her high school career. Of course when her mom married George, things had changed.

"Well, what would be the point of that if we're already in our last semester? Besides, it's really hard to get in."

"Casey, you'd get in. And maybe they have summer programs."

Casey didn't want to consider it but after Emily'd brought it up it stayed in her mind, and she couldn't help but do some research. And it turned out that the school did have a summer program for students who showed promise to train with their instructors to work on getting admitted in the fall. It was almost too perfect. The more Casey thought about the idea of her going away for the summer, the more conflicted she felt. In her mind something was telling her that she would never be able to go through with it and that she could never leave Derek and deep down she really believed it. But when she talked to Emily, somehow she managed to convince her to fill out an application anyway. She made her believe that even though she didn't really want to go, she'd feel better knowing that she'd have the option just in case she happened to change her mind.

Casey knew she wouldn't change her mind though, but the thought of leaving still always sat at the back of her mind.

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><p><strong>Reviews would be really appreciated .<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Here I am with part 3...three years later. This was the first story I ever wrote so I can honestly say it feels really good to finish this. It feels like I've had this chapter unfinished sitting on my computer forever.**

**I don't own LWD. ENJOY :)**

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><p><strong>HOW IT ENDS.<strong>

A couple weeks later and a more important issue arose.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked her.

They were in Derek's room alone and they were kissing and...stuff, that she normally liked doing, but she had stopped him because now it was just making her feel anxious.

"Nothing...well, it's not _nothing_, it's just-you didn't do anything wrong. I'm just worried we might have a problem," she told him. He pulled away from her, getting the sense that she didn't want to be touched right now. "I really don't think I am, but I could be pregnant Derek."

Casey paused, waiting for his reaction. She'd expected him to freak out, even just a little bit but he was surprisingly calm.

He cleared his throat. "What makes you think that's a possibility?"

Casey shrugged and looked down at her hands. "Just the usual side effects. I'm kind of late, but I'm not really too late, but that's still not normal for me. Also, I've just been feeling really weird lately...like, different."

"Okay, but you don't think you're pregnant?"

"No. But it's possible."

Derek sighed. He got up slowly and started to put on his shoes and his jacket. "I guess I'll go to the drugstore then." And then he held out his hand to her. "Do you want to go?"

Casey took his hand and she held it all the way to the car.

Twenty minutes later they returned home. Casey sat on the edge of the bathtub staring at the pregnancy test, waiting for it to change colors. If it turned blue that meant she was pregnant. Derek was standing outside the bathroom waiting for her and she could tell that he was nervous. She could hear him being scolded by George for smoking in the house.

"If you're gonna do that you have to take it outside," George told him.

"Alright," He sighed and Casey heard him knock on the bathroom door. "Case? Are you okay in there?"

She cleared her throat until she found her voice. "Yeah..still waiting."

"I'm gonna go out back okay?"

She nodded even though she knew he couldn't see her. She waited and waited by herself as thirty seconds passed, seeming like minutes. Then the little white screen on the stick faded into a pale blue. She started to feel sick.

She was grateful for the fresh air she got when she went outside to tell Derek the news. When she told him he looked surprised but all he said was, "Oh."

Casey didn't know what she expected from him for the next couple of days, or even what she wanted from him. She thought she would want him to be around her all the time, holding her hand and being supportive and telling her everything was gonna be okay, but Derek didn't really do any of that. He started disappearing a lot, spending less and less time with her and the rest of the family. And he didn't ask her to come with him like he normally did. Even though Casey spent most nights alone waiting up for him, it didn't really bother her much that he was gone all the time. Sometimes she even felt relieved that they were able to spend some time apart because it kept them from fighting so much. She did worry about him though, mostly about what it was he was doing. If it got too late she would call, but the phone conversations were always short and filled with silences.

They hadn't really decided what they were going to do about the baby, but the one conversation they did have about it Derek had told Casey that the decision was hers and whatever she wanted to do he would go along with. But Casey didn't know what to do because she knew that there were really only three choices she had and none of them had a good possible outcome. So she decided to wait awhile and not make any decisions, not even think about it even though she knew that was stupid. It was just that every time she did she just got overwhelmed with the misery of her situation and it was easier to just push it out of her mind.

And there was no way she was gonna tell her mom what was going on. Not ever.

After a week had passed, Nora told Casey that she was due for a checkup with Dr. Taylor. It was almost perfect timing. When she went to the doctor's office, Casey decided she'd better let her doctor know what was going on with her. She told her that her period was over two weeks late and that she'd already taken a pregnancy test that came out positive.

"We'll do another test, have it sent over to a lab and I'll call you in a couple of days to come down and get your results," Dr. Taylor replied

Casey nodded.

And the next two days brought the closing of the school year. While everyone else around her was happy and ready to kick off their summers, Casey was worrying about getting the test results and confirming the bad news, making it even more real. Emily noticed something was up with her friend but she couldn't get her to tell her what it was so eventually she just gave up asking. But she did ask her if she'd made a decision about New York yet and Casey almost laughed. Back then it had all seemed so possible, but now she knew that if she was pregnant there was no way she was going. There'd be no point since she was pretty sure LaGuardia wouldn't be accepting any pregnant students any time soon. She didn't have a choice anymore, now she was...stuck.

She didn't tell Emily any of that though, she just told her that she hadn't been thinking about New York so much lately, with too many other things on her mind. And when it came time for her second doctor's appointment, she didn't ask Derek to go with her, instead she opted to borrow her mom's car and go alone.

She sat in the doctor's office on the examination table surrounded by white walls and colorful posters, waiting for Dr. Taylor. Even though she already knew she was pregnant, she was still nervous.

After a few minutes the doctor came into the room and greeted her. "Hi Casey, how are you feeling?"

She shrugged. "Fine, I guess."

"Well, I've got some news for you. Are you ready for your results?"

Casey nodded.

"I don't say this very often but congratulations Casey, you're _not _pregnant."

Casey sat there, stunned while the words sunk in, and then she felt every muscle in her body soften with relief. "I'm not?"

"No. Your blood work came back negative," she replied.

She was confused. "But before when I took a test it came back positive."

"It was probably just a glitch. False-positives happen all the time with those store bought tests."

"But it's been three weeks and I still haven't gotten my period."

"Well, we checked your hormone levels and everything seems normal, so it could be stress related. Have you been feeling anxious or worried lately? Maybe because of school or problems at home? Or boyfriend drama?"

"Maybe a little," Casey admitted. A little bit of everything.

"Just try to relax a little and do some things for yourself. Read a book, or go shopping and buy yourself something nice. See if things don't go back to normal."

Casey nodded. "Okay."

After they were done and she'd left the doctor's office, Casey finally felt like she could breathe and she relished in the fact that she could now put this all behind her. But at the same time she was having mixed emotions about what this all meant. For the past couple of days she had thought she was pregnant with Derek's baby and she'd seen her whole life flash before her eyes. She'd seen herself permanently linked to Derek by something far more solidifying than her parent's marriage and it had scared her, not because she didn't love him, but because it would be _this _version of him that she'd be raising a child with. Every now and then Derek was sweet to her and treated her the way he had when they first fell in love, but normally he acted like a completely different person. Someone cold and distant who she couldn't relate to or understand at all. And dealing with all of Derek's different sides had gotten to be very exhausting. And when she pictured her future she saw herself tired and drained and stressed out _all_ the time like she was now, but even more so with a baby in the mix. She thought about the times when he had physically hurt her and with the way things were, their relationship didn't seem to be getting any better, so there was a chance that that could happen again. She knew that if she was having a baby with Derek she'd probably never leave him, but now that she found out she _wasn't_ pregnant she realized that she _could_ leave...but would she? She didn't want to so no, she wasn't going to.

But if one thing was for sure, she knew she needed to talk to him, at least to give him the good news. In the parking lot of the hospital she sat in her parked car and called him.

The phone rang twice before he picked up. "Yeah."

"Hey where are you?" she asked him.

He coughed. "Uhh I'm at Jared's."

"Okay, well I need to talk to you about something." In the background she could hear a bunch of guys talking and yelling. "Can you step outside or something?"

"Yeah, hang on a sec." A few seconds passed and the background noises quieted down. "Alright."

"So, you know I went to the doctor the other day right?"

"Yeah," he said.

"Well, I had another pregnancy test done...and it came back negative."

And there was a pause. "So you're not pregnant?"

"No, I'm not."

She heard him sigh in relief. "Well we just dodged a huge bullet."

"No kidding," she said.

And then Derek asked her, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just found out like two minutes ago. I'm telling you right now."

"No, I mean about the doctor's appointment. I would've came or whatever, if you wanted me to," he told her.

Casey was a little caught off guard; she didn't really know why she didn't ask him. "I don't know Derek. You haven't exactly made yourself available these past couple of days. Where have you been?"

"I haven't been anywhere," he said. But Casey begged to differ. They hadn't been spending very much time together and mentally they'd been on opposite sides of the planet.

"But you're never home anymore."

"Well things have been weird between us lately. And you haven't really been complaining."

"Why should I care if you don't?" she said.

"Just because I don't spend every second of my life with you, you say I don't care?" he replied, and Casey realized somehow the conversation had gotten hostile.

She sighed, "Never mind Derek. That's not what I meant, but whatever. Just forget it."

There was a pause of silence. Casey felt like crying. They should have been happy because they had just gotten some pretty important, life-saving news; but instead something just felt really...off between them.

"Case?"

She took a deep breath. She was starting to shake a little bit, but she managed to gain control of herself. "Yeah?"

"Is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked.

She thought about it. There was a lot they needed to talk about but she didn't want to do it over the phone.

"Yeah, but we can talk later. I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing, just promise me you'll come home early tonight so we can talk okay?"

"Alright."

"I mean it Derek. Do you promise?"

"_Yes_, Casey I promise."

"Okay."

-Click-

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><p>When Casey got home from the hospital her mother was waiting for her on the couch, seeming slightly more giddy than usual. On the coffee table Casey spotted an envelope with a broken seal.<p>

"Hey mom," Casey greeted.

Her mom hopped up, "Casey! This came for you today." She handed her the letter.

"You opened my mail?"

Casey looked at the address label and briefly scanned the contents of the letter. _Congratulations! You have been accepted..._

"I know I shouldn't have opened it. I just saw where it was from and I got so excited. Casey, why didn't you tell me you were trying to get into LaGuardia?"

Casey stammered. "I don't know...I'm not really. I mean I don't think I'm gonna go."

"Why not? It's such a great opportunity and it's all you've ever wanted to do. I don't see how you could _not_ do it..." But she trailed off because there was an obvious reason why Casey would choose not to go.

"Mom, you know why."

Nora sighed. "Casey, if this is something you really want to do, then you should do it. Derek will understand," she told her.

Casey wanted to believe that, but New York was just so far away, and in her mind she couldn't even picture there being that much distance between them. And Casey knew Derek better than anybody else so she knew he wasn't gonna understand, at least not with the way things were with him right now. She knew her leaving would hurt him, _badly_ and that Derek's normal reaction to being hurt by anyone was to act as if he didn't care, but in the process manage to hurt them back just as bad if not worse. Casey didn't know how she'd be able to deal with that.

She decided that she would talk to him about it tonight when he got home. He'd promised her he'd come home early and when he did they would sit down and hash things out and maybe try to figure out what was going on with their relationship. She knew Derek hated 'relationship talks' but this time it was absolutely necessary and if it meant possibly fixing things then it should be important to him too right? In her mind, she reasoned that if he really cared then he would be there.

That night, after dinner Casey stayed in his room and waited for him. She showered and put on one of his old t-shirts and she sat on his bed and waited. She started flipping through his old magazines again but around 9:30 she got bored and sent him a text. She waited for him to reply and he never did.

Eventually somebody knocked on the door. "Come in," Casey called, and a 4-foot tall brunette wearing Sesame Street pajamas opened it and stood in the doorway. "Hey Marti," Casey smiled.

Marti stepped over the piles of clutter that decorated Derek's floor and plopped onto the bed next to her.

"What are you doing up?" Casey asked.

"It's summer vacation," Marti informed her. "I get to stay up late now."

"Oh right, of course," Casey said. "But I bet you won't make it past ten o' clock."

"Please, I'm not even a_ little_ _bit _tired."

"Well did you need something?"

She shook her head. "No, you just looked like you could use some company."

"Thanks Marti, I suppose I could use some."

"Where's my brother?"

Casey sighed looking over at the clock. "I don't know, he should be here soon."

"Are you guys fighting again?"

"It's complicated."

Casey couldn't really see herself confiding in a six year old. And she didn't like that someone as young as Marti was acknowledging that she and Derek were having so many problems, but then again _everyone_ knew that they had problems. And if anyone could offer any insight into how to get inside Derek's mind, it would probably be Marti.

"Daddy lets Derek do whatever he wants," Marti said.

"What?"

"He doesn't know how to help...Edwin and me were easy because we're still just kids. But Derek, he doesn't know how to help him not be sad anymore because he's a _teenager_ and he likes to pretend there's nothing wrong with him."

"Oh. Marti, umm-"

"Do you have any coloring books? I want to make Derek a picture to try and cheer him up."

Casey looked around. "Well no, but I think that's a great idea. Why don't you go and check the games closet?"

"Okay." Marti got up off the bed. "But can I come back after I find one?"

"Of course you can. But Marti, how do you know all of that stuff? About Derek, I mean."

She shrugged. "People think because I'm six that words just go past me."

Marti disappeared and she came back with a large book and a ton of markers and crayons that she let spill out all over the bed. Casey offered to help her color.

"Did that hurt?" Marti asked.

She was referring to an old bruise that Casey had on the part of her arm below her shoulder. It was faded and almost completely gone but you could still see it. Casey felt a familiar thickness growing in her throat, but she shook her head. "Not really."

"I have one too," Marti said, showing off her own battle wound. "Dimi pushed me off the slide."

"Well that wasn't very nice of him...Hey Marti, I should tell you something."

"What's up?" Marti blinked.

"I might not be around for much longer."

Marti crinkled her brows. "What do you mean?"

"This summer I might be moving to New York with my dad. There's this really awesome school there that I want to go to and there's a chance I could get in if I train there this summer," she said.

"So you're leaving?"

"I might be, I'm not sure yet."

"Oh. That sounds like fun, but..." she looked down with a solemn expression.

"I know. Derek's probably not gonna be too happy about it. So you and the others are gonna have to be extra nice to him okay?"

"Okay.."

"Just look after him, and try to talk to him sometimes...try not to let him do anything too-" Casey sighed and stopped herself, remembering again who she was talking to. "Never mind, Marti. Forget I said any of that."

Pretty soon Casey could tell that Marti was getting tired. She waited though, until about five after 10 when she completely passed out on the bed beside her and then she carried her into her room. But the second she laid her down onto her own bed, Marti stirred back awake.

"Goodnight Casey," she murmured lazily.

"Goodnight Marti. Go back to sleep okay?"

"Okay," she said through a yawn. "And don't worry. If you want to move away, I can take care of my brother."

She helped Marti settle back into bed and she said goodnight to her one more time, wishing her sweet dreams, then she retreated back to Derek's empty room. She gathered up all the abandoned markers and crayons and the coloring book and put them back where they belonged, and after that she couldn't stop. For some reason she started to clean his room obsessively. She separated all of his shoes into pairs and lined them up neatly in his closet and she folded up and put away the clean clothes he'd left in the hamper. Then she made his bed, perfectly and she cleared out his floor, finding a place for every hapless item he'd carelessly tossed around. She organized the CDs and papers on his desk and when she was finished with everything it looked completely different.

When she was done, she glanced at the clock on his nightstand. It was already past eleven and he had yet to come home, or call or even answer the text she'd sent him over an hour ago. She dialed his number and called, but the phone just rang and rang repeatedly until she gave up. She waited and waited until the clock struck midnight and then the moment finally came where she gave up completely and that was when she finalized her decision about New York. If promises meant nothing to Derek, then maybe Casey meant nothing to him too. Maybe he didn't really love her as much as she loved him.

She decided that sleeping alone in the room they'd shared for so long would be too depressing, so she went back to her own bed, but before she did she left him a note. It read:

_Derek,_

_I needed to tell you something and you never showed up, even though you PROMISED. But regardless of that, there is something you should know...hopefully the letter next to your pillow speaks for itself. _

Next to his pillow she left the letter she got from LaGuardia and she turned off the light on his nightstand. _There_, she thought, _I'm done._

* * *

><p>Casey doesn't know what time Derek got home that night but sometime around 10 a.m. the next morning she saw him.<p>

"Casey, what is this?" He said holding the letter she left him. He looked exhausted too, like he'd been up all night.

"That's..." She hesitated and then she said, "That's my careless way of letting you know that I'm breaking up with you."

For a second he just stared at her in disbelief.

"I'm sorry Derek," she said.

"So that's it? You're done with me?"

Casey felt her eyes starting to water; she shook her head and turned away because she was afraid to look at him. "Y-yes."

When she tried to walk away he grabbed her arm and for a second she flinched, badly like she thought he was about to hit her. It scared her and it seemed to scare him too because he immediately loosened his grip on her arm.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Can you please let go of me?"

He released his grip on her arm completely and let it fall to her side. Then Casey walked away from him and it was over, just like that. Inside Casey's heart was screaming at her that what she was doing was wrong, but her head kept telling her that it was the right decision and that she'd be better off. But still, no matter what she tried to convince herself she still felt sick about it.

Emily was proud of her for doing it, finally. When Casey told her she hugged and told her it was the best decision she could have made.

"It doesn't feel that way," Casey confessed.

"Of course it doesn't _now_. That's normal right after a break up," Emily said.

"Well, yeah but I've never felt sick over one." Every time Casey thought about Derek she got a hollow feeling in her chest, like she couldn't breathe. "I mean maybe I'm overreacting," she said.

"Are you forgetting everything he did to you?"

"He only hit me twice and the first time was an accident."

"But still, that's two times too many. He shouldn't have done it at all. Casey please don't start making excuses for him." Emily stressed.

"I'm not trying to make excuses. I'm just saying, I kind of understand him. And it's gonna be really hard being around him all the time, living in the same house and stuff."

"That's why you're leaving."

"Yeah, but I still have two weeks before I go to New York. What am I supposed to do until then?"

That was gonna be a problem, they both realized. They hadn't really thought about it.

"You're gonna have to be really strong Casey. Derek might try to make you change your mind and convince you to stay. And I know it's gonna be hard because you really loved him-"

"I still do," Casey corrected. "I still love him and that isn't gonna change no matter how far away I am," she said, realizing how true it was as she said it.

"But if you're far away at least he can't hurt you anymore," she said.

"I can't help but worrying though.."

"What?"

"After I leave, I know Derek's just gonna get worse. He might do something stupid."

And then Emily gave her a piece of advice she should have gotten a long time ago.

"Maybe you should tell your parents,."

Casey thought about it. It made sense but she knew she couldn't do that. She pictured them catching him off guard with some big intervention and telling him he was being sent off to military school or something. "No, I couldn't do that to him. He needs to do it himself."

"Then maybe you should stop worrying about him and worry about yourself for a change. Just think about New York and how amazing it's gonna be. I'm sure Derek can take care of himself."

"Okay, but maybe if I just talked to him I could convince him to-"

"Casey, you can't do that. It's dangerous remember?"

"Right."

"What about if you stayed with me for the next two weeks? I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind."

"Well…" Casey thought about it and realized it would make it easier for her to stay away from Derek. But then she thought about the rest of her family and felt kind of guilty because in a way she would be avoiding them also. And then afterwards she'd be leaving them for New York and she didn't know when she'd see them again. "I don't know. I feel like my parents would want me to spend the next few weeks at home since I'm about to move out you know?"

Emily nodded in understanding. "Okay, do whatever you feel is best. But just know that if things get too hard you always have a place to stay with me."

"Thanks Em."

* * *

><p>Even though Casey still had a few weeks left at the house, upon hearing the news that Casey had decided to go through with New York her parents believed a celebratory dinner was in order. So the very next night Nora made Casey's favorite vegetarian casserole and for dessert George brought home a huge German chocolate cake. Casey didn't expect Derek to show up to her dinner but surprisingly that was the one time in almost a month he decided to eat with his family. Or rather, sit across from Casey staring at his plate and playing with his fork. While everyone else gave Casey their own congratulatory remarks he remained silent with a somewhat blank expression on his face.<p>

"I can't believe you're really leaving Casey. I'm happy for you but it's gonna be so weird without you here. Who's gonna help me keep Edwin out of trouble?"

Casey turned to smile at her younger sister. "I guess you'll just have to manage without me Liz."

"Well what about Derek. Who's gonna keep him out of trouble?" Edwin joked.

Casey took the opportunity to chance a glance at the boy across from her who was being uncharacteristically quiet. Edwin along with the rest of the family was oblivious to the tension between the two of them. Either of them had yet to mention the fact that they had broken up.

"Derek's a big boy. He can take care of himself," Casey said.

"Speaking of Derek, son you've been awfully quiet," George noted. Derek turned to his dad and raised an eyebrow. "Isn't there anything you'd like to say on Casey's behalf?"

"Speech..speech...speech," Edwin began chanting. Casey looked Derek in the eyes and shook her head slowly, pleading him not to. But of course her telling him what to do meant he was gonna do the opposite.

"Fine. Case…" He stood up and planted his palms on the table staring right back. After a long pause he continued. "I guess I should say congratulations. And good luck, even though you won't need it."

"Thanks," Casey said quietly.

"And whatever it is you're looking for I hope you find it. I'm sorry things had to end this way."

Casey frowned when she felt a series of eyes turn to her. "Wait….end? So you guys broke up?" Lizzie asked.

"She dumped me," Derek clarified.

"What Derek means is that we both decided it wasn't working."

"You left a note on my bed letting me know you were leaving the country."

"Well I would have let you know in person if you had showed up like you said you would."

"Is that why you wanted to talk? Just so you could break up with me?"

"_No, _I wanted to fix things but you never came. I waited for you for hours like an idiot and you never came!"

Nora cleared her throat and touched Casey's arm in an attempt to get her to calm down. At this point she too was standing. Casey took a breath. "You didn't come because you don't care at all. Not about me and not about our relationship. Don't try to turn this around on me and make it seem like it's my fault."

"You didn't even give me a chance to explain. Maybe you're the one who doesn't care," Derek said. And Casey couldn't believe that somehow he was trying to turn her into the bad guy. After everything he had done to her she had stayed with him and now when she was finally pushed to her breaking point he wanted to act like he'd done nothing wrong.

"Okay that's enough…" George said, trying to take control of the situation. Casey knew it was too late. They'd already ruined dinner.

"How could you accuse _me_ of being the one who doesn't care? After everything I put up with from you."

"Don't be such a victim Casey. You knew what you were getting into when we started dating."

"I can honestly say that I did _not _know what I was getting into," Casey scoffed.

"Well you're off the hook now so congratulations. Hope you have a great rest of your life. You know that's just like you to run away once things get rough. Anything that's not perfect just isn't good enough for you, huh Casey? You run off to New York with your rich father like the spoiled little brat that you are."

"_I'm _a spoiled brat?" Casey was livid. She seemed to momentarily forget everyone sitting around them. She ignored her mom grabbing her arm, trying to calm her down. "I'd rather be that than a _lousy_, controlling, abusive drunk like you!"

"Yeah well you know what? You're not just spoiled, you're a goddamn bitch."

"ENOUGH!" George yelled, standing up, shocked at both of them. He turned to his son, furious. "Derek. Upstairs. _Now_."

Nora turned to the youngest kids. "Lizzie, you and Edwin take Marti into the living room and you can finish eating in front of the TV okay?"

The three children nodded and filed out of the room quickly.

Derek muttered something under his breath that only Casey seemed to hear.

He glared at her and Casey glared back, tears pricking the backs of her eyes. But they were tears of anger and frustration. "Screw you Derek," she muttered after him as he left, and for some reason she was the one who couldn't seem to contain her anger. Nora had to restrain her from jumping after him while George directed him out of the room. "You'll never see me again, I swear! Screw you Derek! Screw you!" She just hated it when he walked away from her. She hated it when he refused to look at her. She wanted him to turn back around and talk to her so they could finish this, but this time their parents were involved.

"Casey, honey you need to calm down right now."

"I can't. I-I have to talk to him..." Casey struggled against her mom but she just held her tighter. "Mom let go of me. Please."

"I can't do that sweetheart. Right now we're gonna go downstairs and we're gonna talk. Just us okay?"

"No, mom..." Casey cried and begged. She choked back a sob and struggled as her mom dragged her out of the room against her will. When they reached the stairwell leading down to the basement, suddenly the space seemed way too confined. The walls felt like they were closing in and Casey started to feel hot. Her chest tightened and her heart started pounding. "Mom...something's happening. I can't...I can't breathe."

Nora led her daughter over to the bed and sat her down. "Casey, listen to me. You might be having a panic attack. Okay just calm down and take a deep breath. In through your nose and out through your mouth," she said, demonstrating. "Can you do that?"

Casey inhaled deeply as best she could, and exhaled, her whole body shaking. "Good, just keep doing that," her mom said. Her breathing was shaky at first, but the more she did it the more steady it became and the more she started to calm down.

"Better?" her mom asked. She nodded, her eyes watery. She let her mother's voice soothe her. "It's gonna be alright, Casey. Just try to relax...everything's gonna be okay."

Nora pulled her daughter in and wrapped her arms around her, holding her against her chest. And Casey shut her eyes and clung to her mother. And then she broke down, in a way she hadn't since she was a little girl. Since the night she found out her parents were divorcing and her dad was moving to New York.

She began sobbing uncontrollably and she didn't stop until her face was a mess of tears and makeup. The whole time her mom just held her and rubbed her back and stroked her hair. And she kept telling her everything was gonna be okay, over and over.

When she finally calmed down and stopped crying her mom sighed. "Honey...I had no idea things had gotten this bad."

Casey sniffled and wiped her nose. "I didn't know how to tell you."

"Casey, you know George and I love you and Derek both just the same. We just want you to be happy. I don't want you to ever think that you're obligated to stay together if the relationship isn't working, or that George and I would ever choose sides. The same goes for Lizzie, Edwin and Marti. We're still a family, no matter what happens."

Casey nodded. "I'm sorry we ruined dinner."

"I'm not worried about that. I just want to make sure you're alright... You are alright aren't you?"

She pulled away from her mom and sat up. "Yeah I'm fine."

"Because some of the things you said downstairs worried me. About Derek drinking and being controlling?"

Casey frowned. She'd completely forgotten she'd blurted that out in the midst of her anger. "Sometimes Derek drinks... And he can be really mean when he does. But that's all," she said. She added, "I was just upset when I said all that stuff."

"You're sure Casey?"

"Yes mom, I'm sure."

"And a few weeks ago when you had that bruise on your eye, that _was_ an accident right? Derek didn't do that to you on purpose?"

"Of course not," she said, feigning shock that her mother would even suggest such a thing.

Casey lied, because even with the few truths she'd told that night, there was still no way she could ever come clean about the abuse. That was one secret she imagined she'd carry with her forever.

* * *

><p>That night Casey slept downstairs in her parents bedroom with her mom. Nora had said that it was just so the two of them could talk, and she could make sure Casey was really alright after the panic attack she'd had. But Casey knew the real reason Nora wanted her to stay in the basement was so she'd be away from Derek. Her and George had both decided the two of them needed a break from each other and as a result George had offered to sleep on the couch in the living room to give her and her mom some space.<p>

And that night Nora had also brought up the suggestion that maybe it would be a good idea if Casey left sooner rather than waiting out the two weeks before her program started.

She had managed to sleep soundly for awhile, but at some time during the night she woke up. She blinked awake and glanced over at her mother, who was snoring quietly beside her. Now that she was awake Casey knew she'd be up for awhile, mulling over everything that had happened that night. And somehow she just knew Derek was awake too, right at that moment doing the same.

She thought long and hard about what she was about to do next. She grabbed her cell phone off the night stand and typed a quick message, but hesitated before she pressed send. The message read _'I want 2 talk. Meet me in the garage?'_

She thought about the consequences of doing what she was about to do and going against their parent's wishes. If they got caught that certainly wouldn't be good. Or what if they started fighting and it escalated again?

No, that wouldn't happen. She just wanted to talk to him. She needed a chance to explain herself without their parents around. And after that she really would be able to leave and put this all behind her. At the very least give them both some sort of closure.

She pressed send and thirty seconds later got a response. "_Okay."_

Casey crept out of mother's room carefully, while she continued to sleep quietly. She frowned as she crept through the living room where George was also still asleep on the couch. This was exactly what she didn't want; her and Derek's problems putting everyone else out.

When she made her way to the garage Derek was already there waiting, and he glanced up at her when she entered. It was always better to talk to him like this. After a fight when they had both had time to calm down and think about everything that happened. Casey ended up being the first one to break the silence.

"How many have you had tonight?" she asked.

"None," Derek replied. He immediately knew what she was referring to. "This is actually the most sober I've been in a while."

"Good. Because I want you to be able to remember everything I'm about to say to you," Casey said and she stepped forward. "I am leaving you Derek, but not because I don't love you. I'm leaving you because you have a **problem **and you need help. And if I stay you'll never see any consequences for your actions...you can't get better with me here."

"Case-"

She cut him off. "I'm not asking you to apologize for hitting me or pushing me. Or yelling at me and trying to control me. The only thing I want is for you to promise me that you'll never tell mom and George what you did."

He frowned. "I don't know if I can promise that."

"God, think about it Derek. What good is it gonna do for us to tell them? Do you really want to tell them because you think it's the right thing to do? Or do you want to punish yourself because you're feeling guilty?"

"I just can't keep lying... I can't lie to them and I can't keep lying to myself. My dad has a right to know who his son is right? The kind of person I've turned into."

Casey sighed, "Derek this isn't who you are... Deep down I know the person you really are, the person I loved...he has to still be in there."

When he didn't respond she pleaded with him one more time. "Please Derek. Don't make our problems into their problems. It's just gonna make everything worse. If you can't do it for me, do it for our family."

Finally, he agreed. "Alright. I won't tell them."

"You swear?"

"Yes Casey I swear," he paused. A moment of silence lingered between them. The tension in the air made Casey realize just how tired she really was. Of all of this.

"...Is there anything else you wanted to say to me?"

She thought about it. But in the end decided there really wasn't anything else that could be said between them. She shook her head. "No...I don't think so."

"So that's it then?"

And without a tear or a second thought, she let go and gave up completely.

"Yeah. That's it."

.

.

.

* * *

><p><strong>I know that ended kind of abruptly. I may do an epilogue if inspiration strikes so we can find out if this is really the end for them or not, but as of right now this is the end. <strong>

**I'm not really too much into LWD anymore but occasionally I'll still watch the episodes on youtube. And the funniest thing for me is how different it is watching the show now then how it was watching it when I was a teenager. Like back then I used to have the biggest crush on Derek, but now when I watch it I be totallyyyyy crushing on Casey.**

**Anyway, **I hope you enjoyed this or at least found it interesting. I'd love to know your thoughts :)****


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